The IncredibleJulk

***there should be a general disclaimer about all posts here that they are very rarely read a second time over for misspellings, grammar problems, general lack of cohesiveness, overall poor writing, etc. consider this a warning***

One's identity can be easily displayed using a variety of cultural markers, available in abundance in our consumer driven society. I can let you know exactly the kind of person I am by way of my choices in fashion, media, home decor, intellectual pursuits, food, and even the words I speak. Our quick acceptance of these markers as identity quickly leads to an overwhelming amount of posturing as people strive to cultivate the "coolest" possible personality, at best, claiming authenticity in the least authentic ways possible.

This is why the people I love generally fall into two categories: assholes and sweethearts. I find that people who fall into these categories tend to be the most authentic people around. I should note that the two categories are not mutually exclusive, in fact, it is often the case that the biggest assholes are also the biggest sweethearts. In my experience, these people are pretty unapologetic about their identities. They accept and embrace who they are, and generally don't give a damn whether or not you think they are cool. There is little care given to whether their favorite band is too mainstream, or if the books they read are intellectually challenging enough, in fact, their personalities usually have little to do with what they consume. (I understand that I'm somewhat conflating the terms personality and identity. For the sake of this little nugget o' wisdom, let's call personality the way in which other people perceive our identity. How's that? It might not be true, but it's certainly the way I'm applying it here.)

I'm not going to delineate what makes someone an asshole or a sweetheart, as it defeats the point. It's kind of like being a good Buddhist, or existentialist. The minute you claim to be an existentialist, or to know Zen, you've totally lost it anyway. Maybe they are best understood by what they are not. An asshole is not a dick (duh). A dick is the kind of person that fancies herself as an asshole, so they are insensitive, rude, and brutish on purpose (though it may have seeped into what they do so much they may not recognize it as a conscious effort). Assholes are accidentally insensitive, rude, brutish, etc., and would feel bad if they realized they were causing harm (hence their sweetheart core). Similarly, sweethearts are not phonies. There are plenty of people in this world who will do good things because they are supposed to, or they feel someone is watching, or they are storing up treasures in heaven (really??), basically, they aren't bad people, I'm sure plenty of them are very nice, but you know if you turned your back or there wasn't some rule or law or social contrivance keeping them from being selfish and mean, they would. Sweethearts generally do good things because that's how they feel like acting. They don't stop themselves from being selfish and mean because they are supposed to, they are just not selfish or mean. 

It's so satisfying to be around people who don't seem to be concerned with the way others perceive them (in a genuine way, not in the hyper-self-aware non-chalant cool that seems to pass as people "not caring"), or who are completely up front about being concerned (something about a willingness to be vulnerable about things that most people feel, but aren't honest enough to be up front about is incredibly endearing to me). So here's to you my friends, assholes and sweethearts: the best people on this lonely old rock.